Category Archives: Blog

The Power of Presence – What Makes You Notice Others?


Courtesy of Thursday Boot Co. and The Refined Gent

When you are walking down the street in a city or small downtown area what makes you notice others? I don’t mean noticing them because they are doing something outlandish. I mean noticing them because they are so “perfectly who they are”, and it catches your eye. What is it about those people? The way someone looks? Their physical features? The way they act? The way they are dressed? I would argue that if you do notice someone, it’s a combination of all of these that work together.

As a business traveler I walk the streets of many cities. There is something inspiring about watching what happens around you when putting one foot in front of the other on the cement blocks of an urban landscape. The noise, the scents, the chaos, the people. There is a general buzz, a hum that enters the process, as the city passes you by. Nothing is ever the same on any given day. Except one thing. The way that people notice each other. It’s a fascinating peek into human nature. Simply put, when there are that many people around you, you are going to take notice of some of them, and you will take notice of those that stand out. Those with presence.

who has presence

Presence in any situation is powerful, and often created verbally. Those who speak, emote….demonstrate strong presence, in a presentation, a meeting, on stage, with family, with friends, with colleagues. They have an impact on others. But the first thing people will notice, is how you look, how you have chosen to present yourself visually. For the lucky, this can simply be because they fit the definition of what others find as pretty, beautiful, cute, handsome or …hot. For the eccentric it could be a visual manifestation of your quirkiness; reference the recent woman in San Francisco who wears a frog suit to work. For most it’s how we dress. Clothes are our human Pinterest board. What we choose to wear is a major factor in our presence and how the world sees us.

The beauty of this process is that the answer is not the same for everyone.   Developing your own personal style is an element of building that presence, where confidence in what you are wearing is the key element.   The confidence you exude when you love what you are wearing will show, and others will notice. I recently added a fitted spring jacket to my daily wardrobe, with a high collar that frames my face, and made the choice that my brown Thursday boots were a compliment to my casual suiting. I felt good about the way I looked and walked to work with confidence in my step. I had presence, and people noticed. A swift glance by many other chaps on their way to work, doing a quick glance up at the jacket with a swift bat at the boots.   The women walking by cracking a smile as she passed, the gym rats, the shop owners, the local senior citizen with her groceries, peering to get a that one second glance at how I was dressed. It was a good day that day.

Attention from others is not the success metric here. It’s what can happen once you are noticed. When you can create that kind of presence, you can do amazing things…have influence, effect change, make a difference. Live large. So when you get dressed tomorrow, have a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are demonstrating presence. If not, make a tweak you feel good about and take on the day with confidence. You’ll be amazed at what happens.

Click the link below to take our one question survey and let us know how you define presence.  We will post the results on our facebook page on Sunday May 17th.   SILVERFLY FB

Click here to start the Survey



SILVERFLY Sundays – Fall Casual Closet Update

This SILVERFLY Sunday we chat about updating your closet for the fall.  Sid Mashburn once said, “Guys don’t need a lot of choices, they need the right choice.”  

SILVERFLY is here to help you make the right choice.  It’s that time of year when fall creeps in and you can feel the cool air finding its way through our end of summer Charlotte sky.  This is the perfect time to update your closet with some key new casual items for work, hanging out or going out.  Let’s keep it simple and break it down in three’s. 

  1. Denim – New pair of denim in a new color or a different cut
  2. Shirt – New casual button up that can be used for work or for play
  3. Layer – New layering item, like a vest or casual blazer

For the denim, go for a new color or a new fit.  At SILVERFLY we’ve always loved the Joe’s Straight and Narrow fit.  It’s relaxed enough in the waste and thighs but still tapers.  Go for a color that you can use on casual Friday’s and the denim will double for happy hour.

Sunday Suggestion: Joe’s Jeans Brixton in Kavell $189


For the casual button up, why not add a twist?, some built in neckwear or a pocket square.  Our new shirts form Scotch & Soda can be fun for work and play.

Sunday Suggestion:  Scotch & Soda Bow Tie Shirt $105

scotch&sodabowtieshirtTo layer properly, make sure it’s something that takes the casual look up a notch.  The perfect items are a vest or blazer.  For vests, quilted are pretty popular right now, and you can’t go wrong with a neutral color like black or grey, but can also have some fun with royal blue.    For blazers, remember its fall, but keep it casual with cotton in a neutral, or a pop of color, like red or better yet add a pocket square.  The Scotch & Soda Blazer has it’s own.

Sunday Suggestion:  Scotch & Soda Quilted Blazer – Night $215

Scotch and Soda Quilted Blazer

Don’t forget to line up your socks and shoes with what you are wearing.  We will hit on those next week.

Call or e-mail us for personal style services, we are here to help.


Enjoy your coffee, bagel or brunch!

The Refined Gent is Worth a Look

H.E.Fashion blogging as it stands has many contenders, and sifting out the great ones is not always easy.  SILVERFLY can solve your “go-to” question…we recommend The Refined Gent.  Founder Robert Solis has made his blog and social media presence a quick success, with succinct, direct and timely posts regarding the latest looks that are trending, the “need to knows”, and some general guidelines for finding a style that works for you, including great brand recommendations.   The Refined Gent has grown a large following and is now beginning to establish collaborations with major labels.    Look for festive sneak peaks, collection reviews and backstage access to fashion events.  Great looks, solid advice and a bit of fun.  Check it out, then stop by SIVLERFLY and get “refined”.

@The Refined Gent : Facebook

@refinedgent  : Instagram

@gentrefined : Twitter

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